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T'was the muse who's wrapped in ice and thorns
who walked towards the purple rose.

A choice of waiting for summer's day
or pushing aside the winter's day.

Through the foggy road she walk by,
as she came to reach the purple bloom.

The thick mist she used to hide,
the scar and bruise of September's blow.

Bleeding as she extends her warmth,
blindly as he look through the muse.

The rose seem cold despite the warmth,
which turned her heart to shatter in a snap.

She outbreaks in a cry for plead of warmth
to melt the ice and wilt the thorns.

To start anew, to warm more bloom,
to see more smiles from the crowd in view.


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Haven't thought of a good title for this poem that I wrote last night. It's been a while since I wrote something like this. Last night, I was so happy to be talking with Pia, Bem and Francis. It must be the chocolates that I ate. Talking using gay lingo and "conyo" is like crazy. Haha! Hope everyday is a fun day. I'll end this with a quote..

From Ate Mer's post:
“By referring to previous struggles and using them as reasons for not getting on with your life today, you’re assigning responsibility to the past for why you can’t be successful or happy in the present.”

- Dr. Wayne Dyer

Finally moved on

I think therefore I conclude.. familiar line isn't it?  Well, it's been a while since I rant about how awful I feel about the relationship that I had. Indeed, it wasn't an easy road. Despite the struggles that I had I managed to have the courage to see him again. It was only to confirm, I did it. With all the sincerity and honesty in my heart I came to his place to finally start the friendship. I hope he wouldn't be thinking of anything else, but build up the lost friendship and start all over again. Life is too short to be bitter about the thing in the past. =)

Confused

Currently, I am reading a book entitled Why Men Love Bitches. I can't seem to finish reading the book because each page tells me that I am not a "bitch" and I am the "Good" girl. The good girl brought me to this state of being alone and left behind by the man whom I love the most. He was the best thing that happened in my life. I realized that I gave too much of myself to him and he didn't even gave enough value to it. I am thinking , do I need to change? Should I be a "bitch"? I know being a "bitch" is the best option but it makes me deviate from who I really am. 

I guess it may take some time for me to figure out what I should be playing. I think I'll be deciding when the right man comes along. For now, I would like to focus on my career and how will I make lots of money in the future.      

You know he is not in love

You know he is not in love with you if:

He doesn’t call.

You find yourself making up excuses for why he doesn’t call.

He doesn’t show genuine concern and care.

His buddies take precedence.

He doesn’t want others to know about your relationship.

He would rather play video games than be with you.

Your gut tells you he is not really in love with you.

You find yourself trying to deny feelings of being used.

You have a sense that you are one of many.

He lies to you about his whereabouts or behaviors.

He keeps making excuses for his uncaring actions.

He emotionally, mentally, or physically abuses you.

You feel you are a possession rather than a beloved.

>>

Based on my experience, this is actually true! I hope other girls wouldn't commit the same mistake of falling in love with the wrong man. DO not let him take advantage over you. It just so sad that there are a number of men who keep telling lies.  

FROM:

http://brasilmagic.wordpress.com/2008/11/07/golddiggers-and-jerks/

One of the best things that happened in my life was when you crossed my path.


I wrote this a year ago. I will always remember you. It is just tragic on my part to see how happy we were.

It's been one and a half months and everyday I thought that I am already over you. but why do I still find myself crying, thinking and hoping that you'll still be there for me in times of sickness and by the time I meet death? I know I loved you honestly and stayed true to my promise that I will love you forever and will never leave you. I felt cheated when you decided to go without giving me the chance to prove my worth. It was heartbreaking. It was and it will always be the worst feeling that I had/ have. I do not know when will I let you go completely. I am still wishing that everything will just be erased in an instant because everytime I see something that reminds me of you, it triggers the emotion back and it hurts more than I could imagine.

I still HATE myself for loving you and for letting you break my heart.

Feedback

After all the things that has transpired, it changed me a lot. I became closer to my family, I have more friends who's willing to help me get through this trial and I pray a lot to help me not to cry. The pain still remains and I still do not know how long will it take me to remove all that. Oh well, I still do not know when since I am trying so hard to keep the friendship but at the same time I am figuring out to myself if my feelings for you is completely out of friendship. I still can't look at your face when I see you, I have this reflex of hiding when I sense that you're moving my way or when I see you from a far unexpectedly. I want to cover my ears when I hear your voice resounding despite the noise of the crowd. I just don't want any memory of you in my life. The pain is killing me and I do not know how to escape from it. Two years and five months was long enough to make me suffer this much. Sometimes, I think that loving you was the biggest mistake that I made in my life.