You know he is not in love

You know he is not in love with you if:

He doesn’t call.

You find yourself making up excuses for why he doesn’t call.

He doesn’t show genuine concern and care.

His buddies take precedence.

He doesn’t want others to know about your relationship.

He would rather play video games than be with you.

Your gut tells you he is not really in love with you.

You find yourself trying to deny feelings of being used.

You have a sense that you are one of many.

He lies to you about his whereabouts or behaviors.

He keeps making excuses for his uncaring actions.

He emotionally, mentally, or physically abuses you.

You feel you are a possession rather than a beloved.

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Based on my experience, this is actually true! I hope other girls wouldn't commit the same mistake of falling in love with the wrong man. DO not let him take advantage over you. It just so sad that there are a number of men who keep telling lies.  

FROM:

http://brasilmagic.wordpress.com/2008/11/07/golddiggers-and-jerks/

One of the best things that happened in my life was when you crossed my path.


I wrote this a year ago. I will always remember you. It is just tragic on my part to see how happy we were.

It's been one and a half months and everyday I thought that I am already over you. but why do I still find myself crying, thinking and hoping that you'll still be there for me in times of sickness and by the time I meet death? I know I loved you honestly and stayed true to my promise that I will love you forever and will never leave you. I felt cheated when you decided to go without giving me the chance to prove my worth. It was heartbreaking. It was and it will always be the worst feeling that I had/ have. I do not know when will I let you go completely. I am still wishing that everything will just be erased in an instant because everytime I see something that reminds me of you, it triggers the emotion back and it hurts more than I could imagine.

I still HATE myself for loving you and for letting you break my heart.

Feedback

After all the things that has transpired, it changed me a lot. I became closer to my family, I have more friends who's willing to help me get through this trial and I pray a lot to help me not to cry. The pain still remains and I still do not know how long will it take me to remove all that. Oh well, I still do not know when since I am trying so hard to keep the friendship but at the same time I am figuring out to myself if my feelings for you is completely out of friendship. I still can't look at your face when I see you, I have this reflex of hiding when I sense that you're moving my way or when I see you from a far unexpectedly. I want to cover my ears when I hear your voice resounding despite the noise of the crowd. I just don't want any memory of you in my life. The pain is killing me and I do not know how to escape from it. Two years and five months was long enough to make me suffer this much. Sometimes, I think that loving you was the biggest mistake that I made in my life.

The Break Up

It's been a month since he left me. I do not know how long will the feelings remain but I hope I'll be able to forget about it soon and move on. I can't believe I have to go through all this pain. I can't imagine how dumb I was not to know that soon he will be leaving me. I used to write letters for him whenever I feel like writing stating how I feel about our relationship and how much I love him. It was definitely heartbreaking that a week before he decided to ask for some space from me, I said that I was feeling confident about our relationship. I never imagined that he is feeling otherwise, because since then he was the cold type. I always understood him. I always give myself all the reasons in the world just to minimize the burden. Creating my own stories so that pain won't get into me and just let things pass hoping tomorrow will be better. But now, it will never be. All I can do now is move on. How I wish my memories with him will be erased. I can't believe it had to end so soon that I wasn't able to do anything about it. Every night I cry, asking myself why? why does it have to happen to me, to us? I used to say that I am so thankful for having him in my life, that he was sent by God, etc. Is this part of His plan? Until now, I know in my heart that it was a decision he made without certainty. I still feel that we could still work things out but I do not know when. At the same time I do not want to wait for him to love me again since there is no assurance.

I just wish to start again. I want the Me I used to be.

I believe I found the greatest love of my life. I hope I am not speaking too soon for this relationship which started 2 years and 3 months ago. It was something totally unexpected and I wasn't absolutely prepared. It was the biggest decision that I made for myself; to follow what my heart tells me. To give you an overview, my parents are strict and does not allow us to enter a relationship while we are studying. BF should come after studying, when we are already earning our own money as my parents kept on telling me.

It all started when we became classmates back in January 2008. How did we became classmates? Well, we have a common friend named Gerard. He is my classmate from HS while he is his blockmate. During the frosh years, students are given freedom to choose their section for their subjects. Gerard gets a copy of my schedule during the enrollment of Dec 2007. Thus, for the next term which started January 2008 we were classmates in 3 subjects. He actually shared his schedule to some of his blockmates and so they also became my classmate and later on friend.

Initially, I had a crush on one of our batchmates which was my classmate on a different subject. I usually do not have one crush at a time. Hmmm... how do I define crush? It is pure idolization and appreciation of their beauty. I love having crush because they inspire me to do better in the things that I do. Going back to my story, we became close since in one our Filipino subjects in college we were ask to form groups containing 4 members each. Unluckiliy or luckily, I was absent and Gerard added my name into their list so I wasn't left alone. =) I was actually concerned initially if the other two members will be helping with the papers and artworks that we have to submit. During the start, I already set my mind that I have guy groupmates and so I must not count on them so much. I'm already used to it since we were in HS. I remember I can't even remember his surname, sabi ko De Guzman nga ba surname niya? hahaha. Well, it was quite close to his surname na. hehehe. :) I ask for their cellphone number for reference to help me locate them if there are things that we need to do for the papers. =)

To be continued..