Looking back, and now.

The post below remained in my drafts folder for quite some time already (almost 5 years? I'm guessing here). I think wrote this a few weeks after my ex- and I broke up. It was the hardest thing that happened in my life. An event beyond my control, a pain that can never be resolved in an instant. Time, space, family and friends were the factors that made me sane until I was able to recover. 

Looking back and telling people good memories I had in the past is refreshing. It no longer has that feeling of hurt or bitterness in my heart. :) This just goes to show that we say the craziest things when we are mad, when we are hurt. Just give it some time, focus your attention on stuff that makes you happy makes the burden lighter to carry.

Thinking of it now, it wasn't that bad after all. Maybe, it wasn't really just for me back then. :)

An open letter to the man who broke my heart... 

The pain doesn't stop killing me each day I get a chance of remembering you. Why do you have to tell me that you love me when you would just leave me? Sana pinagisipan mo, dun ka pa naman magaling. Kasi hindi mo alam kung gaano kalaki yung paghihirap ko just to give the relationship a chance. I remember I started out not sure if I would be able to reciprocate at least the love you gave, pero I was able to achieve it. Pero ikaw, ano nangyari? Honestly, I am very hurt right now. Kasi you just threw everything and you didn't even gave me a chance. WTH do you think cool off really means? declaring it, but deep inside you were already planning on breaking up with me. Tapos sasabihin mo sakin it has been more than 8 months that you've been thinking about it! Kamusta naman yun? Ni hindi mo man lang agad sinabi sakin. G*go ka pala e! Ano yung ginawa mo, pinaglaruan mo na lang ako sa 8 months na yun na ayaw mo na pala.  I HATE YOU SO MUCH. I wanted to hurt you but I can't kasi lagi kong naaalala yung mommy mo at si Kuya mo na naging sobrang bait sakin. If not for them, I could have done something. 

Everyday I get to analyze, na you somehow fell in love with me. Somewhere in the middle, you just toyed me. You asked me to do your projects. You've never been a gentleman to me. You made me a variable in your crazy "social" experiment. You we're not there to support me in my endeavors. You give me gifts kasi binilhan mo yung friend mo, so isasabay mo lang ako.. You always ask me to understand your friend, pero you didn't understand how I felt. Lagi na lang ako yung iintindin. You always criticize me. You never went to my house. Alam mo ba kung gano kahirap yun? Pinakamasakit yung magkaharap na nga tayo hindi mo pa din ako nakita.. Do you think kissing, hugging, holding my hand already erases all the short comings? I don't think so.. 

Nung tayo pa, everyday nagdadasal ako na sana gabayan tayo ni God. Na sana tayo na hanggang huli. Sabi nila kung isa lang sa dalawa yung nagdadasal, It won't work. Kasi kaya nga couple e. =P Siguro, hindi ka nagdadasal =P hahaha! I'm sorry I know you won't be able to read this since you're not reading my blogs. I am not yet ready to be your friend. I am still hurt of all the pa-asa and lies that you told me. I never cried this much for anyone except you. I don't even remember that I had a boy friend.

Bucket list

This is a list of the things I would like to do before I die. I posted this initially last May 25, 2013 without those in Orange. By this time, I realized that some of the things in my list deserves to be revised but still shows the original blog post. 

1. Long drive. I'll be the driver. This would be fun if it will be done with my family and/or special someone.

2. Sleep by the sea shore, waiting for sunrise. Definitely not to be done alone

3. Drink till I get drunk.

4. Do target shooting and archery.

5. Play in the stock market.  Learn to invest my money wisely

6. To complete the Simbang gabi with my special someone.

7. Get married and have kids of my own.

8. Find the guy who will love me more than I love him - I think I just did! :) 

9. Start my farm.

10. Play a significant part in the society.

11. Sing again in a choir. - Thank you Smart Serve Chorale! 💖😍🙌

12. Have myself checked if I have cancer.

13. Have a guy best friend. - Lucky to find and meet this person and my special someone in one man.

14. Long walks with the BF.

15. Receive a bouquet from a guy I really like without being told by anyone. - He need not be told 'coz he is naturally romantic 😍

16. Get fetched from our house because we'll be going out on a date.

17. Harana from my crush/love. Same condition as the flowers. - He does not sing in public but has a really nice voice. He can play the guitar and I am proud to say he learned it by teaching himself 😍😤

18.  Add my office crush in facebook a week before my resignation takes into effect. 

19. Kiss in the rain.

20. Be sexy and fit.

21. Not to talk about anything about my relationship with my past lovers.

22. Drive more often.

23. Joy ride

24. Travel alone in the Philippines and meet new people.

25. Be a model.

26. Buy my own house and car.

27. Be able to blurt out what I feel without hesitation.

29. To save money for my future.

30. To set my long term life plans in terms of career growth and personal development.


To be continued...

25 March 2017 Entries 

Worklife

It's been seven months since I've started working and it has been one roller coaster ride. It is a combination of all types of emotion you could think of. Allow me to enumerate to you some of the events in my life in the past few months together with the general feeling thatI had.

1. EXCITEMENT
New employee =New environment = New Life =  New Friend/s
There is this enthusiasm for me to share all the things I've learned. More than that is the joy to be working with other IEs. During the initial stages, I am very curious as to how does it feel to be working; to be earning and to be spending to support yourself;
to be working with people of different age, size and race.

2. FEAR
Since you've sold yourself to your employer, they have high expections. I might not been able to meet some of it but, I always try to improve and perform at my best.

Another is from the group you are working with. I was new and trying my best to please everyone. It was really hard as I am not an extrovert. I think the only way to really survive is to be yourself. It may sound like a cliche but it is still the best way to go. :)

3. STRESS
Things are piling up as you are still in the stage of discovering how to do this and that. Plus the expectations you are managing from your boss, co-workers within and outside your department.

Another type of stress is the culture of the company. It is something that is very important and normally taken forgranted by people who are new in the BIG world. It is a stress which cannot be resolved immediately but can be reduced by diverting your attention to other things.

To be continued... ♡

Korean Movies and Series

Here is a list of korean movies, series  and variety shows which I have seen or currently watching. All thanks to dubbers and subbers who are working hard to provide us with subtitles and dubbed versions of the shows! 


MOVIES:
Babo (Online: Dramacrazy)

My Sassy Girl (DVD)

Windstruck (DVD)

My Crazy Love/ 100 Days with Mr. Arrogant (DVD)

Il Mare (CD)

Innocent Steps (CD)

Wet Dreams 2 (DVD)

200 lb Beauty (Online: Cruncyroll)

My Wife is a Gangster (CD and Local TV(GMA))

Rules of Dating (Online: Youtube)

Art of Seduction (Online: Youtube)

Wonderful Radio/ Love-on Air (Online: Youtube)

My Girlfriend is Type B (DVD)
My Little Bride (DVD)
Sector 7 (Download)
Midnight FM (Online: Youtube)
Two Faces of My Girlfriend (Online: Youtube)

SERIES:

Goong (DVD and local TV (ABSCBN))

Coffee Prince (Online)

Lover's in Paris (Local TV (ABSCBN))

Save the Last Dance (Local TV (ABSCBN))

Full House (Local TV (GMA))

City Hunter (Local TV(ABSCBN) and Online: Dramacrazy)

Marry me, Mary! (Online: Youtube and Dramacrazy)

Playful Kiss (DVD)
My Girl(DVD and local TV (ABSCBN))
Oh Feel Young (Local TV (ABSCBN))
You Who Came From the Stars (From a Friend)


VARIETY SHOWS:
Running man (Download c/o iSubs)
2 Days 1 Night (Cable Channel (KBS World))
Let's Go Dream Team! (Cable Channel (KBS World))

Do you have any suggestion on what should I watch next? Please do leave a comment! :) 

Random Thoughts

I've been wondering how people would be so careless in choosing the words to use just like in PBB (Pinoy Big Brother). It's about my 5th time watching the installment for  this season. It may not be merely because of what I saw, maybe also based on my experience. I get offended when people call themselves best friends when everyone surrounding them sees it differently. Is it still best friends when you treat each other very sweet? Like holding hands? Or doing those crazy stuffs couples do? It is just irritating! Haha! I can't stand it!

Inspiring Korean Dramas

I was suppose to wash the dishes just now when I felt the urge to create a post so here it is. Today is quite a lonely day for me. Staying at home alone again since today is my little sister's first day of school. 

Because I do not have anything good to do today, so I decided to do a little make up. Well, my face is too close to the webcam that the make up doesn't show. haha! 

While I was preparing the sink, I realized some things I got from watching Korean dramas. I'm not sure if it is applicable for everyone though. This is just my opinion.

1. From City Hunter - The best thing I've heard so far is avoid associating people with things or holding on to something. This was my problem after me and my ex- broke up. It wasn't easy, so I had to delete all the songs he liked that is saved in my mp4 and remove everything he gave me in my closet. I don't even want to go the places where we made a lot of memories together. It was really hard.   

2. Marry me Mary! - Loyalty is the more important rather than trust of love. I think it is true. A person may not love you but will remain loyal. 

3. Running Man- Hmmm.. Have fun! I've been at the worst point in my life since last August 2011, I've experienced all the downs in my life. I always look forward to watching the variety show because even if I feel so bad during the day, I still can't stop laughing. I watch the series together with my sisters, thanks to iSubs! This is a good way for us siblings to bond. Sometimes, we even watch it with our parents. 

**will be adding other k-drama lessons.. haha!

Published June 6, 2012 =)

When the SNATCHER came

To start with, this is not a mushy post about hurt or happiness in love. Just as the title says.

Well, I went to school to do revisions for our thesis. I decided to go to Ayala, Makati to get the money that he owe me. So I left UM- Taft at past 6pm and arrived at Makati around 6:30pm. I waited at the MRT station for 5-10 mins. I was able to get the money and at the same time meet his girlfriend who is very friendly and has a kind heart. They went home first while I went inside the mall. I got so exhausted to I decided to go around first.

May 24, I was suppose to visit someone but failed to do so because of my hectic schedule. To compensate, I went to the chapel in Greenbelt to pray for all the blessings that day and to talk to him. I was at peace as I leave the chapel. While I was on my way to the station, I was already feeling hungry but decided not to buy food. I was thinking that I could naman if I get home, plus I want to save some money.

I went to the bus station, which is located along EDSA, below the MRT station. There are four rows for the passengers to board and alight. When I stepped on the first platform, I felt strangely on how the man looks at me and merely his presence together with another guy. They are not standing side by side but instead they are on my left and right side. I moved to the next platform since I saw a bus coming which is bound Dasma. I decided not to board since it seems to be full. I moved to the third platform and asked the conductor (The man who gives out tickets to the passengers) if there are still available seats. I was unlucky that the he said it's already full. I stopped in front of the door since I am analyzing on whether I should board or not. I am considering two things that time:

1. I am hungry so I cannot stand for too long. I had the same experience before and my blood sugar just dropped.
2. I do not have enough sleep the night before and I've been busy the whole day. I am very exhausted.

As I was thinking, the snatcher came and took my necklace. I had a delayed reaction because of exhaustion and hunger. He was able to make 5 steps away from me before I started chasing him. He ran quite fast. It was so hard for me to chase him because I was carrying a Long Champ which is full of paper, bottled water and a big folding umbrella. We ran for about a minute, but he crossed the highway which I couldn't do.

I approached the MMDA officer which is regulating the bus traffic at the entrance of the terminal to ask for helped. I pointed where the snatcher went but he said I should go up to the parking lot where the police station is located. When I arrived at the station, I was accompanied by 2 officers to search for the snatcher. We went to the north bound bus terminal located at the other side of the road but I wasn't able to see the "guy". Afterwards we return to station and have the incident blotter-ed.

At some point I realized that :
1. I forgot to scream to ask for help initially, I only realized to so when I was already chasing the guy.
2. I forgot what may happen to me, there is a possibility that I might get hurt.

It was quite a traumatizing experience, which I will always remember. This would be the first time where the snatcher was successful in getting something from me. This will serve as a lesson. Hope the bad guys will be caught. Diyos na ang bahala sa inyo.